Don't we all want to be loved? Whether from one person or many, we are all seeking that truest form of life, LOVE. We want to be in love, with love, show love, and give love. However, for many of us its is the ever elusive thing we can't seem to grasp in life. Many of my clients come in and they all want the same thing, LOVE. They want to be with that one special someone, or to have a companion to come home to, someone to share meals with, go to the movies with, just someone. Many of us settle for less than we deserve because of this romantic idea of what love is and looks like and it's not happening so we push and end up with someone who doesn't really love us the way we need to be loved or they take advantage of us. We settle for less than we deserve. It's painful and hurtful, plus hard and soft all at the same time.
How do we get ourselves our hearts desire of love that we are seeking? Let's look at love differently than what society believes it should be. Maybe love is taking the time to love ourselves first. Meaning doing the hard work of finding our worthiness, stop running away from the feelings that make us feel bad about ourselves, or stopping feeling we aren't good enough, stopping the self-talk and doubt that "I suck, no one wants me", "I'm not worthy or lovable enough" etc. Our greatest love story is the story of loving ourselves first then love can show up for us in the way we are wanting. It involves doing deep spiritual work. Finding what resonates deeply in us and our connection to God, Spirit or whatever it is you believe in. It's seeking a coach/therapist to heal past hurts. You have to process past hurts, failures, and disappointments from others, and there is no spiritual bypass for this. Its feet to the fire inner work/stop running away type of work. In addition, it's exploring life by trying new things such as yoga, travel, art, running, writing or whatever brings you the greatest pleasure. It lights you up on the inside and you feel like your're one and this is a truth/knowing that this is right for me. Once you can tap into that golden pleasure of beliefs and answers then we have taken ourselves out of suffering. Suffering keeps us in lack. You will never have or find love in suffering, and from a place of lack.
You are beating yourself up over and over. We all know how to do suffering really well. You all get an "A" in suffering. For life to change this has to end and it ends by you taking the steps to love yourself first...self-care. Self-care is not being SELFISH! It's integral to us as humans evolving and growing and creating the life we all want with love. I have worked with many clients over the years and almost daily this lack of love comes up. We have to stop not loving ourselves. We are our greatest love, our biggest cheerleader, our greatest companion. Once we can acknowledge ourselves then life and love can happen. I am saying this from my own experience, it's not easy and it takes time, and at times it's a hair's breath or movement and other times it's giant leaps all of sudden. But if you don't take a step or one breath nothing can change or happen. In my own experience I now see it's been so worth this long journey and struggle of doing the much deeper work on myself to bring me the life I have now. I have never felt more like myself than now. I now recognize when I put myself in "suffering" and when I put myself in "pleasure". Take a step, take a breath, book an appointment with me, take a class of something your interested in, try yoga, art lessons, do a run, but begin your journey of self-care somewhere. Loving self-first isn't selfish but brings the right love you are wanting for yourself and your life. You are always SEEN, SUPPORTED, ACKNOWLEDGE and LOVED.